Several years ago, I wrote a book aimed at helping adult children of my generation manage the many challenges of caring for our aging parents. I interviewed women and men across the country about their struggles and successes. I also spoke with members of the helping professions: geriatricians, social workers, elder-law attorneys, administrators of assisted-living facilities, and just about anyone and everyone who I thought could shed light on the subject. Everybody, that is, except the aging parents. That now strikes me as a glaring omission. And how capable is the father of making his own decisions? We want to be cared about but fear being cared for. Hence the push and pull when a well-meaning offspring steps onto our turf. Another case in point: My friend Julia and I recently met at a local museum.
I am a woman and the average child squeezed between two brothers. We were all born in the central to late fifties. There were a lot of shows on television by the time about perfect families akin to Father Knows Best and Leave it to Beaver that idealized what families of the day looked like. We lived in a very nice average class neighborhood in a ranch adapt home. This was not our at the outset home, but in this home I was at the age that I could recall events and could depict to you every room in the house. This is where we altogether predominantly went to grade school after that my older brother started Junior Above what be usual. Our dad always worked and all the time provided a nice home and furnishings. He always had a job after that took care of all of our needs. Mom stayed home because so as to was the way dad wanted it and she was a terrific housewife because that is where she excelled.